Written on January 16, 2018 by Billy
Archive for January, 2018
Written on January 16, 2018 by Billy
Joel receives panicked voicemail from mother asking “How much do you owe these people?”
Written on January 13, 2018 by Billy
Joel waits in limo while driver chases woman on foot through woods
Written on January 13, 2018 by Billy
Joel’s eyes turn into spinning pinwheels upon entering candy shop
Written on January 13, 2018 by Billy
Joel posts YouTube video titled “Top 10 Haunted Dolls Caught on Tape”
Written on January 13, 2018 by Billy
Joel let go from fortune cookie company after his work reveals a pattern of doom
Written on January 13, 2018 by Billy
Joel creates kitchen calamity by putting wrong type of soap in dishwasher
Written on January 13, 2018 by Billy
Joel exposed pooping in the wind after shell of port-a-potty gets blown off its base
Written on January 13, 2018 by Billy
Joel caught gyrating pelvis during conference call, unaware his webcam was enabled
Written on January 13, 2018 by Billy
Joel refers to city council as “band of thugs” after being denied minor zoning request
Written on January 13, 2018 by Billy
Joel enters arm wrestling competition to win love of son, loses
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel posts “New year, same old shit” to social media minutes after ball drops
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel’s sentence reduced to four cane lashes after President Clinton steps in
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel sought “Angel Dust or anything like it” according to local Hawaiian
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel claws at locked door at David’s Bridal, demands to speak to David
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel risks life by flying somewhere he could have just driven to
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel unleashes invasive non-native critters at each stop of world tour
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel jerks to and fro on mechanical bull like rag doll while being hissed and spit at by drunk rednecks
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel sets surprisingly hostile away message on his email during Holiday Break
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel avoids Hostess Cakes, believing them to be made of hostesses
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel thinks he did the math right and doesn’t understand how it could be wrong
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel loses sensation in both arms for 24 hours after trying to show off with jackhammer
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel proposes “Soup Living Room” where the homeless can eat on couches in front of TVs like the rest of us
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel does incessant Woody the Woodpecker laugh while strapped to hospital bed
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel swallows handful of pills and nods excitedly during meeting
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel appears to be very nonchalant while small kitchen fire grows out of control
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel decides to bring the fight to menacing, elderly rival after encounter with wolf
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel gets caught in one of many rat traps that form perimeter around his house
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel begins screenplay with narration “New York: A city with 10 million stories to tell. This is one of them.”
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel pulls up to stop light in Pontiac Fiero, revs engine and wiggles tongue at pedestrians
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel turns around when hearing “You filthy little pervert,” figuring it’s most likely directed at him
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel spins around and around listening to Donna Summer’s “I Feel Love” before collapsing from drug induced hyperthermia
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel flips switchblade comb out on subway car and winks at elderly woman
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel thinks former boxing champ Tyson owns chicken company of the same name
Written on January 2, 2018 by Billy