Written on December 28, 2017 by admin
Archive for December, 2017
Written on December 28, 2017 by admin
Joel offers favorable review of restaurant in return for unlimited calamari as a sort of “squid pro quo”
Written on December 28, 2017 by admin
Joel uses full $100 balance of Home Depot gift card on snacks from checkout line
Written on December 19, 2017 by Billy
Joel tells senior citizen, “If you’re cold just keep your oven running”
Written on December 19, 2017 by Billy
Joel advises Alpo marketing exec, “You need to be advertising to dogs, not people”
Written on December 19, 2017 by Billy
Joel wiggles his fingers and whispers “ground-a shake-a” to describe earthquake to another native English speaker
Written on December 19, 2017 by Billy
Joel fined heavily for masterminding unlicensed Haitian cab operation
Written on December 19, 2017 by Billy
Joel lends car to close friend minutes before reporting it stolen
Written on December 8, 2017 by admin
Joel puts raw steak in pocket before court hearing for custody of dog
Written on December 8, 2017 by admin
Joel rushes to publish dangerously fallacious argument for indigenous peoples’ right to whale even the most endangered species
Written on December 8, 2017 by admin
Joel seen running towards shopping mall bathroom pushing people out of his way with one hand and cupping his bottom side with the other hand
Written on December 8, 2017 by admin
Joel severely disappointed by marmalade on toast at diner, wishes he could go back in time and use the Concord grape jelly
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel believes religious former pro football player’s name to be Tim Tivo
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel angers Father Christmas with greedy and unrealistic requests
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel allows diseased pet rodent to escape his pocket, ruins neighbor’s party
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel gives timid secretary box of shotgun shells as Secret Santa gift
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel puts car keys on table to raise bet in poker game, walks home
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel confounds delivery driver by turning off lights and ignoring phone calls
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel asked to leave wedding after demanding to witness consummation
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel waves insurance policy angrily, shouting “I’m worth more dead than alive!”
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel claims temporary upside down vision as reason for entering bathroom door marked “W”
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel wears chef uniform and smokes cigarette in alley behind restaurant, runs away when spotted
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel tells car passenger to take a peek at gun in glove compartment
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel causes tea cup and saucer to chatter while standing and shivering in kitchen of good samaritan’s house at night after swerving car into pond to avoid whispy phantasm
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel bashfully admits to pooping through hammock onto heat mad computer anti-virus mogul
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel is so far off in his analysis that he is accidentally right, despite reading wrong book
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel uses footage of early aviation disasters in smear campaign against local political hopeful
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel’s ill-advised “Kill Whitey” Facebook post returns to haunt him in local election
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel gets lethal dose of pills snatched out of his hand by seagull
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel’s laptop quickly develops Stockholm Syndrome with ransomware
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel chased out of grocery store for drawing large black X’s on peaches with sharpie
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel dresses up like Middle Eastern sheik, runs wildly through airport screaming
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel euthanized in tar pit upon reaching age limit of futuristic society
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel sports Aztec poncho and man bun at far out ideas conference
Written on December 5, 2017 by Billy