Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Archive for August, 2017
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel buys cheapest single-ply toilet paper while shopping for grandmother
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel told he’s legally dead during physical exam for insurance policy
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel approaches car stopped at intersection with arms outstretched, wiggling fingers
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel scowls at security camera in line for Six Flags rollercoaster
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel insensitively simplifies friend’s gender identity struggle with statement “You’s a dude”
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel exposes himself and shouts “tell him – he makes all of the decisions”
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel opens up to therapist who then quickly ends their relationship
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel forced by proud Muslim father to tearfully return backpack he stole from tourists
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel loses an entire month’s credits during futuristic swearing fit
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel informs police he doesn’t own a dog while they investigate neighbor’s complaints of incessant barking
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel’s parents sit him down and explain that they’re actually his kidnappers
Written on August 14, 2017 by Billy
Joel shares the primitive belief that weather is determined by the moods of his God
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel thinks if he squints and looks real hard he can see the American flag on the moon
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel unable to be put back together again by King’s horses and men
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel gets so overcome with excitement when his owner comes home that he pees on the floor a little
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel employs Gestapo tactics to lead high school girl’s soccer team to state victory
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel submits that his own name should be considered a major obscenity
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel sings Irish folk song while hiccuping after drinking a single beer
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel takes train from one town with the word “Depot” in it to another that includes the word “Junction”
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel angered by amount of attention friend’s cute baby is getting
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel shows up to child’s birthday party wearing paper bag over head with eye holes cut out
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel comes running out of house fire with as much food as he can carry
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel comes out of bathroom insisting nothing is wrong despite no one asking
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel chokes and cries, barely able to convey that his older brother had tried to strangle him
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel robs stranger named Peter to pay off gambling debts to unrelated bookie who happens to be named Paul
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel forced to take a timeout after going overboard with the Nintendo
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel immediately splashed with hot grease across the neck, chest, ass, and thighs after accidentally entering wrong apartment
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel’s lipstick proves to be the same shade found on martini glass at crime scene
Written on August 12, 2017 by Billy
Joel taps the book ‘The 4-Hour Work Week’ with his knuckles and says to his boss “Read it and weep, asshole”
Written on August 2, 2017 by Billy
Joel alienates core fans by developing concept group “Cherubic Nudes”
Written on August 2, 2017 by Billy
Joel gratefully allows psychic to take his car off his hands for free after she informs him a ghoul has taken up residence in the trunk
Written on August 2, 2017 by Billy
Joel forces neighbor from Home Improvement to reveal his face at gunpoint
Written on August 2, 2017 by Billy
Joel makes scene when office supply store manager informs him they no longer carry the Brother P-Touch
Written on August 2, 2017 by Billy
Joel lives in constant fear of not wearing gaudy, name-brand attire
Written on August 2, 2017 by Billy
Joel continues to waver on whether or not red wine and chocolate are good for you
Written on August 2, 2017 by Billy
Joel tries to butter up Vegas cop by referring to fictitious crime from early episode of CSI
Written on August 2, 2017 by Billy