Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Archive for June, 2017
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel tells school faculty he’s picking up child as a favor to busy parents, panics at mention of password
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel has fake little league t-shirts printed to make it easier to sell stolen candy
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel unable to walk straight after stranger blows mysterious pollen in his face
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel sends grandmother vicious political flash animation as birthday card
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel found pacing down hotel hallway wearing curtains as robe talking out some kind of internal conflict
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel tricked into buying bogus rare coin at flea market by woman in tie-dyed pajamas
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel pouts in corner, repeating “you’re too good for this world” at a low whimper
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel defends elderly woman from purse snatcher, then asks to keep purse
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel takes both pills described in song White Rabbit at once, stays about the same size
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel hatches poorly conceived charity event entitled Bowl with Joel
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel frantically operates backhoe at highway construction site with multiple people waving and yelling at him
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel misrepresents his feeling on issue by stating “I could care less”
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel overheard arguing in Haitian creole on cellphone with only English words being “I’ll fuck you!”
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel witnessed removing neck brace and moving about naturally by insurance fraud investigator
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel implicated once his greasy likeness takes shape on shattered glass door pieced together by forensic specialist
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel makes guess about animal tracks on hiking trail, is wrong about height, weight, gender and species
Written on June 30, 2017 by Billy
Joel buys SNICKERS bar with label in proper case instead of all caps, goes into coma
Written on June 16, 2017 by Billy
Joel likens his relationship with his cable provider to spousal rape
Written on June 13, 2017 by Billy
Joel makes sound of tea kettle whistle until getting pounded with mallet on top of head
Written on June 13, 2017 by Billy
Joel reaches toward sting on back of neck, discovers poison-tipped dart
Written on June 13, 2017 by Billy
Joel nearly drowns trying to get a closer look at the handsome man in the lake
Written on June 6, 2017 by Billy
Joel discovered frozen stiff in restaurant freezer wearing prehistoric garb
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel sponsors young Parisian ballet dancer in possessive predatory relationship
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel panics and runs when asked to demonstrate his knowledge of maritime knots
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel critically injured attempting to ride horse wearing carved pumpkin over his head
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel’s continued confusion between Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman makes him wish they were both dead
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel’s colleague notices that his planner consists only of the word “JOEL” in small print filling each page
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel places cutout letters of name on forehead before entering tanning salon
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel cites stepping away from active banking session to support claim of dangerous lifestyle
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel makes exhaustive list of which animal each of his friends resembles
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel sentenced to one year aboard decommissioned submarine after series of harmless misdemeanors
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel suggests five minute “bio break” during meeting after clearly pissing his pants
Written on June 5, 2017 by Billy
Joel caught on surveillance camera licking produce and putting it back
Written on June 1, 2017 by Billy