Written on June 30, 2016 by Billy
Archive for June, 2016
Written on June 30, 2016 by admin
Joel kicked in head by protégé, stumbles to piano and plays ragtime in concussed state
Written on June 29, 2016 by admin
Joel attempts to glean titillating info from muffled 3 minute voicemail accidentally left by friend who pocket-dialed him
Written on June 29, 2016 by admin
Joel cites year lived in Tucson during childhood as grounds for over-the-top southwestern motif in living room
Written on June 24, 2016 by admin
Joel suspects pool has special dye that will turn urine purple, still takes chance
Written on June 24, 2016 by admin
Joel drives hour to Indian grocery store to put faces to the names of the victims of his dimwitted prank calls
Written on June 15, 2016 by admin
Joel thinks fake candle at restaurant is real, believes friend is impervious to flame
Written on June 15, 2016 by admin
Joel places hand in thumbs-up position on seat next to him before person sits down
Written on June 15, 2016 by admin
Joel pats cheeks with salami slices before pressing face against glass door
Written on June 15, 2016 by admin
Joel eats week old pizza, admits it wasn’t even from the most recent delivery
Written on June 15, 2016 by admin
Joel found passed out wearing diapers and a lampshade on his head after making a fool of himself at reggae bashment
Written on June 14, 2016 by Billy
Joel writes “Lorem ipsum dolor” using Helvetica font, refers to himself as designer
Written on June 13, 2016 by admin
Joel hides evidence of unused screws and brackets after assembling Ikea shelf
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel breaks into classroom, fist-pounds gingerbread houses into gingerbread dust
Written on June 7, 2016 by Billy
Joel gets mangled attempting to run away from alligator in zig-zag pattern
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel prowls outside of home, isn’t sure what he’s going to do but knows it will be bad
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel inhabits mattress in free pile near college campus, infests taker
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel searches most of world for Carmen San Diego, doesn’t think to check San Diego
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel puts on American flag bandana to warn cars he’ll break windows
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel pretends to be Twin Peaks fan after barely making it through first episode
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel breathes onto litmus strip, scores off-the-charts on fecal scale
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel carves ‘bear’ statue out of redwood, forms burly hirsute image of self
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel irrationally labels friend’s workplace “asshole asylum” before getting facts
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel leaves camp looking for an animal to harrass, returns to tent on fire
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel calls police on neighborhood kids getting respite from heat at fire hydrant
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel screams to the sky, continues conflict into bowels of public transportation
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel hyperventilates into lunch bag, looks up and smiles at bus driver like demon
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel summons marshmallow villain through inability to clear thoughts
Written on June 7, 2016 by admin
Joel asks ‘Who am I but just de gal dem sugar?’ in offensive Caribbean accent
Written on June 6, 2016 by admin
Joel eats heavy meal before going to restaurant, claims to be on diet and orders salad
Written on June 3, 2016 by admin
Joel only confronts white females in arguments, says ‘anyone else is too risky’
Written on June 3, 2016 by admin
Joel helps old lady cross the street, then does something awful to someone else in order to ‘balance the universe’
Written on June 3, 2016 by admin
Joel posts “Do Not Touch” signs throughout house in advance of AirBnB guest
Written on June 3, 2016 by admin
Joel watches Dean Martin Celebrity Roast DVD infomercial like it’s the actual show
Written on June 3, 2016 by admin
Joel takes forever parking stupid car while tension builds inside diner
Written on June 3, 2016 by Billy
Joel sprints from medical facility after prostate exam shows suspiciously healthy results
Written on June 2, 2016 by Billy
Joel demands unreasonable amount of personal data in exchange for download of stale industry Whitepaper
Written on June 1, 2016 by admin
Joel hurls ‘corny’ insults at rapper E-40 and Bay Area hip hop scene, gets meat lumped at Oakland venue
Written on June 1, 2016 by admin
Joel uses roomate’s expensive kitchen knife to open mail despite being repeatedly told not to because it dulls the blade
Written on June 1, 2016 by admin
Joel flips directional arrow at fork in road on dangerous wildlife preserve
Written on June 1, 2016 by admin
Joel insists ‘bad boy’ persona warranted, directs reporter to http://www.joelskinsfifth.com/
Written on June 1, 2016 by admin
Joel shadowboxes in front of screen at movie theater to chorus of boos
Written on June 1, 2016 by admin
Joel snarls at elderly couple at grocery store, holds zuchini and two plums in suggestive position
Written on June 1, 2016 by admin
Joel challenges Jordan to game of ‘horse,’ later seen exiting stable disheveled
Written on June 1, 2016 by admin
Joel knows how to buckle seat belt only because of flight attendant’s instructions
Written on June 1, 2016 by admin